insomnia part 4,908,145,999

here it is 2am and of course I can't sleep,  I took 3 sleeping pills last night and was awake all night,  then woke the kids up for school and couldnt stay awake long enough to get them out the door.   I need to find a good paying job that entails me being on my computer late and night and won't wake up my family.  I would have it made then!!!

so tomorrow night I am meeting some friends that I havent seen in 20 years!!  seriously,  I can remember a time when I couldnt even say I had known somebody for 20 years!  back when I was around 18 years old,  ok I actually was 18 years old,  my mom owned a live band club and it was a pretty popular place,  I made some awesome friends that summer,  I can honestly say that was the funnest summer of my life!  I met my first serious boyfriend,  got to go to some at what I thought at the time were grown up parties,  I was an adult by law ,  I didnt have a curfew,  it was great!  we would stay out til dawn.  now we all had lives during the week,  but on weekends we were always together as a group.  then  we all just drifted apart.  My first serious boyfriend broke my heart for the first time,  so I started seeing those friends less and less since he was a part of the group too,  until finally I couldnt remember the last time I saw any of them.

I tried to stay in touch by phone,  thats all we had in those days,  but to be honest I think my feelings were a little bit hurt that "the gang"  chose my ex over me,  they stopped inviting me to their get togethers,  and eventually they stopped telling me when the next band show would be.  so after a short time,  I quit trying to stay in touch and moved on to other friends.  I would bump into some of them from time to time,  ironically I bumped into that ex boyfriend more than I did any of the others.  And I guess they all lost touch with each other as well.  we all grew up,  got married,  had kids,  went thru divorces,  some of our friends passed away.  then thru the miracle of the internet,  we started finding each other online again,  just a few at a time.  it started on myspace,  then most of us migrated to Facebook and found other old friends.  Then we started posting pics of the good old days.  all of us are in are late 30's to early 40's now,  and its weird looking at the pictures of all these young, beautiful people having fun,  and then the pics of us now,  our hair is not as big as it used to be,  some of us have lost alot of hair,  most of us have put on a bit of weight,  some of us have put on alot of weight.  we look tired and the lives we have lived show on our faces.  some have had harder lives than others.  I don't think I would recognize most of my old friends if I bumped into them at the mall or in a restaraunt.  and they probably wouldnt recognize me either. 

If I could relive any time in my life, the summer of 1990 would be one of the top contenders.  almost everything reminds me of that time.  for those of you reading that were a part of that year then I don't have to explain why these things make me smile at fun memories....... A trampoline,  pina colada scented smoke from a fog machine,  red shag carpet,  little hole in the wall places that were packed to the rafters with big haired teenagers, a neon spray painted sign, hanging out in a open field by the lake,  assless chaps, jeans with so many holes they couldnt really be called clothing, and there are so many others. but those were all I can come up with right now.  *LOL*

so i'm looking forward to this get together tonite,  I was kind of nervous because the last time I saw most of these people I was a size 3 not a size what I am now.  *L*  I didnt have gray in my hair,  my cheekbones were much higher on my face, (other things were higher on my body as well) I only had one chin,  I could drink more than guys that were 3x my size,  I liked beer,  I could stay out all night AND stay awake the next day.

Tonite I will only be able to stay for a short while,  I have 3 kids at home doing who knows what,  we have to drive an hour to get home because we aren't really the crash at a friends house types anymore.  years ago I would have been one of if not the last person to leave the party. 

so look for the next blog about our reunion,  and to my FB friends I will be posting pics. 

until then, 

Love you all!
A.